|See ya, 2015. Happy 2016....|
This is me. Just doing my thing.
I absolutely HATE the word "resolution" and I feel pretty confident that I'm not alone in this. That word freaks me out. Really. Don't I do things good enough already?? Sure, there are things that I could work on. Sure there are things that definitely need my attention. Sure there are things that I need do to reach new goals.
But WOW. Resolution?? That's like saying I really just need to be fixed. Like I need to resolve a problem.
I don't like that.
Improved, sure. But fixed?? I refuse to accept that. I don't like when other people try to "fix" me either. I shut down on that.
So here's a better word that I like to use when it comes to a brand new year. I'll use the word, "Challenge". I don't need to be challenged to love my fam. I already love them. I don't need to be challenged to always try to be a better Mom. I fight that battle every day. There's NO ONE in the world that can beat me up on the Mom challenge more than I already do. Trust me, some days I'm the worst Mom on the planet
I like using "Challenge" because I feel like this is more of a positive word. I don't deal well with negativity. I'm a PRO at blocking all of my negative feelings completely out. I am that person....out of sight/out of mind. If it bothers me, I usually have a good cry about it and then throw it in the back of my mind and then I move on. By myself. I have already cried twice this morning. I'm bothered, I'm full of hurt feelings, I'm refreshed, I'm challenged. I'm ALIVE. Check it out, I'm still breathing. (Hehe, see what I did there? Music Junkies will get that last one. ;) Again, I don't deal well with feeling like I need to be "fixed". I'm stubborn and I'm convinced that I can "fix" myself. I think this is the reason why I'm ALWAYS up for a challenge. I'm ALWAYS up for a new adventure. And I'm ALWAYS up for something that will make me happy. I NEED Happy.
So my boss unexpectedly threw it out there the other day that he wanted all of the employees at my gym to compete against each other in a Virtual Iron Man Challenge over the month of January. At first, I thought this was the most absurd thing that I had ever heard of. I had sworn that I wouldn't be one of those runners that accomplishes just about everything that they could do in the running community and then jump ship over to the triathlon world. Yeah, just no. I don't want to be THAT girl.
The more and more that I thought about the challenge, the more and more that I begin to fall in love with the idea of the challenge. I don't love the idea of swimming. I have battled ear infections forrrrrrevvvvver so swimming will be the death of me. I don't like the way that I look with wet hair. Sorry, but that's true. My eyeballs always look bloodshot after being in the pool. I really just don't even know how to swim like an athlete. I need help so I googled it and I'm going to teach myself how to swim. There I go again, "fixing" my own situation. I definitely don't love the idea of biking.. Hello, super tight quads. Fall in love. That's what I want to do in 2016. Fall in love with new challenges. I want to love swimming, biking, fixing...
However, midway through the year in 2015, I didn't love the idea of personal training and now I LOVE being a personal trainer. I didn't love the idea of being in front of a group and having zillions of eyes on me as I workout. Now, I LOVE being a group exercise fitness instructor. I get up on that stage and I'm a completely different person. There really are 50 shades of Kristin, I tell ya! I have learned to LOVE last year in ways that I NEVER knew that I could. But......Love also rattles my cage.
So this challenge will do just that. Challenge ME. And I love that. And I'm rattled. This is when I rise up.
In more ridiculous ways to look at things...I bought a snazzy one-piece bathing suit with a cute ruffle on the boo-tay. Jussssssttt kidding, It's not very snazzy at all. It was all i could find at Target on clearance because I'm too cheap to spend any money on that kind of stuff. I have matching goggles so that's kind of fun. Priorities, right?!? Please let me love my wet curly hair. I'm dying it a new color today. Maybe that will help.
I will swim all 92 laps (2.4 miles). I will bike all 118 miles and then I'll knockout out the 26.2 mile run...saving the best for last.
Even more ridiculous, I weighed in on New Year's Eve at 136.5 pounds so I'm going to try NOT to lose anymore weight. Anything less than 135 and I start looking shriveled up. I'm also running the Dopey Challenge (48.6) miles in just a few short days so this is REALLY going to be an all-out balls to the wall kind of month. Not bragging about weight loss at ALL but skinny folks have their issues too. Some days, I REALLY struggle to eat. I REALLY struggle to keep weight on. I REALLY struggle to find anything positive about Kristin. When I'm stressed, I'm the opposite of most of the world, I don't eat. Probably the reason why I've lost a ton of weight in 2015. I should write a blog post about it all one day. I joke about writing a book one day. Really, it's not a joke. I should do it.
So with all of the craziness aside, I'm excited about my new virtual Iron Man Challenge. I'm excited to re-focus my energies in 2016 on people who care about ME and who I care about. I've decided to concentrate on my blog and back off from unnecessary social media. I've said it before and I'll say it again today....Facebook is on my nerves so I'm taking a bit of a break from it. I'll still keep up with some of my facebook groups and my BamagirlRUNS page but other than that, my feelings have been hurt by Facebook posts and I need to take a break. I read waaaaaaayyyyy too much into some things and I've realized that a huge source of frustrations have come from that. Why do that to myself???
Last night (New Year's Eve), I thought long and hard about the things that happened to me all day yesterday. It's amazing how I could recap one day and realize that there is just so much about my life that I need to fix and learn from. I am important. I am valuable. I am ME. Above all else, I can't love anything I do, unless I love ME first. <3
I'm diving in to BamagirlRUNS this year. Let the crazy workouts begin and time to kiss un-productivity good bye!
I wanted the last workout of 2015 to be representative of how I wanted my 2016 to begin. #WellBalanced. I wanted to do it all. I wanted to run, bike, swim, lift, stretch and relax. I did all of that and I loved it. I didn't necessarily love all of the exercises but I love that I pushed myself. I gave it 110% and I received 110% from ME. That's what I want. I expect the best from me in 2016 and I'm gonna get it!
2016 is going to be fun. 2016 is going to be different. 2016 is going to be challenging. I've set some personal goals that I've given myself a one-year time frame to reach. I won't disclose those to anyone. I'm keeping those goals under lock and key and will be unlocking them one by one.
My new challenge starts TODAY, January 1st 2016. I'm excited. I'm nervous. I'm rattled. I'm READY.
Happy New Year, Happy Running, Happy Swimming, Happy Biking, Happy Lifting and Happy BamagirlRUNS. :)