Legit. Legal. Lottery. I saw my name.
I still can't believe it!! It's 8:57pm and I'm typing this STILL IN SHOCK. I have forwarded the official email to myself twice just to make sure I've read it right. Lol. I woke up this morning with NYC on my mind. I went to bed last night with NYC on my mind. My hubs just asked me if I was in NYC tonight....oh he knows. When I go there in my brain, he's lost me. And he's right. Tonight, I'm in the Big Apple. ;)
So here's my back story and my Love/Hate Relationship with TCS New York City Marathon.
First, I'll tell you why the hate fest: Because I've wanted it SO bad. And yeah, I know..I could have ran for charity or I could have qualified before now. But, But, But. And here come the excuses...
1. I'm not that fast. Nor do I care to be.
2. I wanted to see my name as being accepted. Petty, I know. But still, I wanted to see it.
3. I love New York City and I wanted to run through it.
3. I love New York City and I wanted to run through it.
When you want something SO BAD and you know that you can't have it, you want it even more. You're Hungry for it. You're Not gonna settle until you have it. And you get MAD when you don't get it. There's only a few things in life that I'm this way about. NYC Marathon was one of those things. I'll have those others one day too.
Moving on to the Love Fest: I've been a runner since 2008. My sister had been a runner for one year prior to me. She had told me a year or so after we had been running that she had applied for NYC Marathon and that I should too. At that time, a marathon was not even in my vocabulary. Keep in mind, I was sooooo new to all of this.
I had just decided that I was going to train for my first Half Marathon at Walt Disney World in 2009 and I was a nervous wreck! Regardless, she still applied and I did not.
The next year I applied.
And the year after, and the year after, and the year after, and the year after and the year after. The more I applied and got rejected, the more I wanted in.
I had missed the window of the 3 + 1. And thanks to the cancellation of the race a couple of years ago, the odds were just ridiculous the past couple of years with all of the deferments.
I wasn't going to give up. And, this lottery drawing was out of my control. That drove me nuts!!! I couldn't just get in. It was a hard pill to swallow when I saw people getting in that I KNEW wouldn't train or were just applying because it was the cool thing to do. It was HARD to read the posts from people who bragged about people waiting for years to get in and they got in on the first try and were most likely not even going to go because they didn't care enough. #WhatTheWHAT?!?! I wanted people to run this race with heart and I wanted to cheer for everyone, every year in NYC. I did not want to harbor any ill feelings just because I didn't get in. I needed to change my thought process because I felt like I was being SO SELFISH and SO BRATTY. There were people who wanted to run this race waaaaaayyyy more than me out there. And I wanted to realize that. I wanted to be happy for everyone. Again, I'm SO THANKFUL that my broken ankle taught me more lessons than I ever imagined. I learned to be happy for people in ways that I never thought that I could.
Needless to say, my sister and her husband got in the race a couple of years ago. I lived vicariously through her! That was so awesome to follow her that day. And I still wanted in.
Last year, through the power of social media...it seemed as if I knew a million people running that race. That was so fun to watch on television and then live it all over again through their social media. And I still wanted in.
Year after year, I remember watching this race on television. I watched all of the elites. I watched all of the sappy stories. And I just cried. Nothing is more emotional that watching this race. I still wanted in.
The running joke between me and my husband has always been that I live here in Alabama but somewhere along the way, I missed my calling. My gypsy genes need to be fed. I could always see myself living right smack in the middle of NYC. Or Chicago. Or Los Angeles. Or Nashville. Or anywhere in Florida. It's just a joke and I really love living in Bama but my gypsy genes are not a joke. He knows it. I like to get out there.
When my hobby of running and traveling collided, my whole world changed.
Suddenly, a trip to Walt Disney World was never the same again. I looked at every city in a different way. I wanted to visit places that I've never even thought of before. On foot. I tell everyone that I'm geographically stupid and can't remember road signs, street names, etc. but I can remember every twist and turn of a race and remember things so specifically on each mile during races. I think most runners can relate to this.
So today is the big day. Today was the day of the lottery drawing. I get to work for a few hours and then I check my checking account. Nothing. I had thought that I would not even look at it. I was going to try to keep my mind occupied. I wasn't going to look. Crap. I couldn't do it. I couldn't be calm. I caved to the NYC Marathon pressure. And then I looked.....
And then I lost it.
I sobbed like a baby and my boss said..."Baby, I don't even know what you are crying about and I have no idea what to do with you but please don't do that. Can I help? Are you okay?" Poor guy...He was being so sweet to me.
I was crying the happiest tears. I could not believe what I had just seen. I had imagined it for 6 years.
Seriously, my mind just started going nuts. This was my number one. I created a Bucket List YEARS AGO and this was my number one race. I wrote it all down and folded up the paper and tucked it in a drawer. On November 6, 2016, I'm going to cross this race off of the list. Unreal.
I texted my hubs. I posted it on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter. I was over the moon excited. I had to pretend to be calm at work. I had to go watch my boy in a Band Concert later. I had to go teach a class. How in the world was I going to function today?!?!! I was also very sensitive to the fact that there were lots of people who didn't get in and hearts were broken. That's the part that I hate too.
Back to my crazy mind....
WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I GOING TO WEAR???
WHAT SHOES AM I GOING TO WEAR??
OMG. I HAVE TO TRAIN LIKE A BEAST.
I'M ABOUT TO RUN LIKE A REAL MARATHONER. OMG. A NEW YORK CITY MARATHONER.
BUT SERIOUSLY, WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR?!?!
I NEED NEW LIPGLOSS.
I'm gone. I've lost my mind today.
I cannot wait. I'm a nerd and actually counted the days.
I made a promise to myself after I broke my ankle and crossed the Finish Line of the 2015 Runner's World Half Marathon that I would always cherish the process of making it to the Finish Line and not ever beat myself up over times or things that stress me out. I will train and run hard but I refuse to think the way I use to before. I will always invest in other people and runners. Other stories. The heart of the races. I will run with the injured and those who are slower than me. I will pray for those who can't run to heal quickly so that they can run. I will run for those who can't. I would not act bratty or selfish if I didn't get into races. My time would come and my time would come at the BEST TIME. That time is better than any PR could ever be. To me. :)
I will train to run this marathon with heart. I am making that promise to myself.
I'm about to cross off another Major Marathon off of my list. I never would have thought way back in 2008 that I would be saying those words.
I'm excited. I'm ready for this race. I'm ready to train.
If you know me in real life, you know I love pizza. You know I fell in love with Central Park on my last trip to NYC. You know I'm a Seinfeld Junkie. You know I love being a houndstooth wearing tourist nerd. You know that this race and all of my NYC adventures will mean the world to me.
|Gimme that NY Pizza.|
NYC, you have my heart tonight. Thank you for that. <3
Happy Running, Happy Training and Happy Bucket List Crossing Off!
Follow #BamagirlrunsNYC and follow my TCS New York City Marathon journey.